Stream of Consciousness

Written on 09.09.2013

This is the first post of an occasional many that I will be titling Stream of Consciousness. Basically it’s my excuse on days where I’m feeling scattered and distracted while I work to focus my attention toward something positive and creative while I work. Often, in the midst of time-consuming and detailed daily work, my thoughts get the best of me and my running mind won’t stop. I guess this is more of an experiment to see what happens if I focus my attention on intermittent creative instead of letting my mind wander (probably also know as undiagnosed ADD--but maybe not). I’m also interested, for myself to see my progression of thought as the day progresses. Perhaps I shouldn’t make this public, but it’s not like a ton of people read this blog anyway.

This also comes out of the thinking that what feels like success for the day typically has something to do with how much I accomplish or if I can see some sort of creative progress or growth in the course of the day. I can accomplish a lot in AutoCAD and at the end of the day physically see construction documents before my eyes, but I need more than. Creativity by my own mind put forth and set out in front for me to observe.

Okay. Here’s the timeline of thought. Uninteresting as it is, enjoy. Maybe you'll find yourself in the often daily mental predicament as me. Comments and observations are welcome.


9:30 AM

God, this morning as my mind is worried and distracted, help me to be focused, not on my work, but on You, knowing that as my mind is more focused on You, my work will be better. Change my heart and posture toward work and doing well as my tasks at hand. May each individual task and process be fully committed to you, and thus fully committed to the betterment of these projects and overall goal of getting houses properly documented and constructed. God, please help me in my complacency that I might truly love my work and see it as a way of glorifying you daily.

10:20 AM

I’ve never tried to blog while I work. I’m interested to see if productivity in the course of the day increases as I write.

I’m sitting in Opening Bell Coffee doing my work, and looking around. And it appears that everyone around me is quite comfortable, which can be a good thing, but it occurred to me that perhaps we are a working group of people paralyzed by comfortability. Discomfort, displacement, and disposition seem to be a strong, driving factor not just for positive societal change and personal change as well. But, and especially in my own personal circumstance, it can be the most paralyzing condition, more capable of destroying us from the inside out, all while we have no idea of it’s occurrence.

I think often about two coexisting but diametrically opposing societies. At this point, Syria and North America. It’s hard to say, but I would hope that something resembling peace and order would arise from the kind of chaos and discord. I would argue, too, that American may not have much of a future itself if the course of comfortability and ease of life is maintained. It’s quite easy to forget what something like the ability to be comfortable and free itself cost; that is, the lives of our brothers and sisters.

But more than this, how would America continue to grow outside of this comfortability without having to be lowered to the unreal chaos resembling that in the middle east. I say this could happen with just the simple awareness of things going on in the world. This isn’t to say that all people are ignorant, or even most for that matter. It is to say, though, that I think we are unable to connect the dots between our society and it’s potential future downfall and the initial cause for a country like Syria to fall so hard.

10:51 AM

I’ve decided (I haven’t really decided) that blogging while I work may give way to others’ understanding of what goes on inside my head on a minute to minute basis. Currently looking for some half-decent double-hung windows so I can build a CAD library and stop using these totally awful self-made ones. They’re great placeholders, but just aren’t good enough. I’m looking for efficiency here.

11:02 AM

Found some. Finally.

This could actually be an interesting way to document the minute to minute process of preparing construction documents for a house to be built. I could post pictures. I wonder if that’s allowed? I don’t even know if my bosses (who are awesome, in fact) even read my blog. Hmm…

11:47 AM

Came home to get lunch and check on my dog. Today’s the first day he’s actually been outside all day. I had yet to dog-proof the yard, so today I fixed it up and give it a couple hours to see how he did. Not bad having an entire garage as a doghouse and a full backyard as haven. Now I just need to get the grass looking normal.

Also, in all this keeping of my dog inside business that I’ve been doing, over the five years I’ve owned a dog, it has become increasingly more apparent, especially for the large ones, that they are outside animals. They can be trained for inside and domesticated, but, for the sake of their own health and wellness, be kept outside for the longer portion of the day.

12:08 PM

Turned on the TED Radio Hour on NPR to keep my mind occupied while I do tedious and menial work. The podcast is titled The Next Greatest Generation.

1:12 PM

This led me to watch the Kony 2012 video on my lunch break, which makes me a year and a half behind the rest of the world.

Continuing the rest of the podcast while I work.

3:39 PM

I listened to the podcast. It was solid. Then I listened to another while I worked, called Mistakes. This might as well have been my daily dose of conviction, in specific regard to personal arrogance and in my dealings with other people, especially in moments where I desire creative liberty and consequently assert myself in a manner that treats the weight of my creative output as the ultimatum rather than the discussion point and mark for more holistic overall growth. Specifically, my roommate and I are in the middle of starting a business. The other night we met to discuss some aspects of the business, logistics, and specific and very important design decisions needing to be made. It ended in slightly heated disagreement and me saying that I wouldn’t follow through with the project if I didn’t have the design my way to start. After listening to the podcast, a number of things became evident: one- that disagreement, mistakes, and resolution are, in fact, imperative in the progressive growth and improvement of any endeavor. And two- my opinion is and never should be the ultimatum to any design decision. While it carries weight and is definitely important, listening to others (especially much smarter others) is crucial for growth and forward movement.

5:57 PM

I’ve gotten a decent amount of work done today, but the day has felt a bit distracting even as I focus some attention on writing. I don’t think I could do this everyday. I need days where I just work straight through. But I definitely also need some that involved other creative pursuits. Time to tone down the attention deficit (not disorder) and knock out a couple hours of work.

Around 8 PM

Got about an hour or two of work done. Not a big fan of freelance work at this very moment. I’m going to watch Seryn at A-Loft.

10:00 PM

Came home. By midnight...ZZzzzz. I think in the course of the day, productivity didn’t necessarily increase a ton, but it also didn’t decrease. I usually work fairly quickly, but this often exhausts me. I’m not sure, outside of seeing the progression of actions and thoughts of the day, if this exercise did what I thought it would. Perhaps I’ll try again later. Or maybe Siri can help.